Another Day in the Neighborhood

Nothing's really changed. I still feel on edge. Its been said that if you don't know what to do, then do nothing. That's me - doing nothing. I've tried to lay back and take it easy. It does help to ease my mind of the things from the previous post. I found a local place (A Caring Heart) that is a counseling center. I think I need to check into it. I don't know...

I'm tired. I'm sick of being in pain. The newest pains involve my pinkie finger, first knuckle, all the way to the tip of the finger. My hand was numb one morning. I semi-straightened my pillows like I always do when I first wake up, but because my hand was numb, my middle, ring and pinkie fingers felt funny - very uncomfortable, almost painful when I did this. Its been a couple of weeks since this happened. My pinkie is red, feels funny, swollen and kinda hurts when I bend it. IDK...

My right knee has been horrible, but then its my lower back too. Those have been so bad that I've resorted to using my walker more often than usual. Of course when we have rain, storms, tropical disturbances, everything is worse. I don't know if its my knee or back or both. Something needs to be done. I'm thinking a repeat MRI of my lower back for comparison. I don't know what it'll show, but something is changing and its not for the good.

Ok, blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine, complain, complain, complain. That's it for now.

TBOTE

Saturday, May 19, 2012. Home alone (again). Its been over a year since David has been spending the weekends at Davy's. I used to go in the beginning, but as my RA has progressed, the guest bed became increasingly uncomfortable. I do better in my own bed. Casey continued to go with him, but after a while, even she got tired of the every weekend thing. I should have marked the calendar way back when, but I didn't. I am now. So far, out of 3 weekends in May, he's been gone 2. The first weekend he didn't get home until 10:30pm Sunday night. He was grumpy, in pain and way overtired all that next week. He didn't go out the next weekend (mother's day), so he finally got some rest and was a little better last week. We'll see what time he gets home tomorrow night. I ask if he'll be home fairly early on Sunday. He can't promise - depends on what they get into.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off in a place of my own. Then I'm not expecting anything from anyone and I won't be disappointed or let down when his actions show he'd rather spend time with his son than with me. Time will tell...

TBOTE = The Beginning Of The End...