It's been a minute. Or so they say nowadays. But, what exactly is a minute? According to the online dictionary, a formal definition would be, "a period of time equal to sixty seconds or a sixtieth of an hour". Whereas an informal definition is, "a period of time; a while". OK, so yeah, it's been a while(minute)🙄, whatever. During this time, I turned 60! But my mind doesn't feel that old! My eye doctor said he needs to keep an eye on my eye (lol). It appears that my eye is forming a cataract! Isn't that something "old people" get? In my mind, I am still in my 40's! Well, I guess my body has decided to behave as a 60+ regardless of my mind's opinion.
My Pulmonologist wants me to have my CPAP needs retitrated. It has been a minute (see where I went there?) since the last time. She wants to switch me over to BIPAP. What?! I understand that my numbers have been all over the place. I know my air pressure needs have topped out at 20 on several occasions (severe COSA). I know a BIPAP will breathe with me (adjustable pressures up to 26) whereas the CPAP is a constant flow of air pressure that increases (up to 20) as my needs increase. So, this all makes sense to me, but I can't get it out of my head that BIPAP is the go-to when someone is critical (and usually intubated) in an emergency situation, possibly bound to die. But, for me, this is not an emergency.
The manufacturer of the CPAP machine has a massive recall going on. They don't know if the machines will be repaired or replaced yet. They're waiting to get a ruling from some branch of government. In the meantime, I have an in-line filter on the hose end, so if my machine is or has melted or otherwise destroyed the internal filter, it will catch the particles instead of me breathing them in.
But... What if this had already happened prior to the recall? Could this have been the deciding factor that caused me to get COPD? Or is it the reason why the middle lobe of my right lung is not expanding and contracting properly, causing me to be out of breath with minimal exertion? Who knows?!
The upside is if my doctor decides to put me on BIPAP, the recall issue will be instantly resolved for me, as those machines have all been checked and are not part of any recall. And by switching to BIPAP now, rather than waiting, the huge demand for proper CPAP machines will no longer be an issue for me. Win/Win? I suppose you could see it that way. <sigh>
So, to finish up with this post, the only other thing going on with me is n.o.t.h.i.n.g... I'm a Mom to two, Mimi to five boys and one girl and as of July of last year (2020), I am a GREAT-GRANDMOTHER to a little girl who I have yet to meet. My two are not speaking to me which trickles down to the grands and now the great-grand. It has caused me major anxiety over the years. I have finally learned how to turn it all over to God. I would by lying if I said it doesn't bother me from time to time. But being able to call out to God and pray for Him to take this anxiety from me, has given me such peace. I miss my family more than I can say and I hope and pray that we all can reunite soon. That would be the biggest and best blessing that I could ever hope for!
In the meantime, I am me. Doreen, Mom, Dodo, Mimi, Great-Mimi. Whatever you want to call me. I love my family and friends. I pray daily that God will bless them and keep them safe as they go about their day. I believe He hears me. I believe He has only good things planned for my life. Until it is my time to go home... Amen🙏🏻❤
See ya'll in another "minute".😄🥰💕
